THIS WAS RELEVANT TO KEEP BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF SHIT ON HERE THAT I DONT FEEL LIKE REPEATING LOL

now dont go talkin amongst yourselves and spreading rumors and all that. all you need to know is RIGHT HERE!!! now pay attention:

do i hold any hostility or anything against deon nem? NOOOO i do not! i never did! never! i have just set certain standards for myself as far as how i choose to let people treat me. months ago i wouldn't have tripped, but i would've been bothered by it, and i dont want to have to go through that...thinking that i've allowed myself to be disrespected again when i didn't have to. i also understand that deon has his own way of thinking and his own way that he does things. do i think deon is a bad person? naw. but i was a lil shocked and pissed in the beginning and i felt disrespected...royally...and in trying to explain why i felt the way i did i felt like i wasnt even being heard, which in my eyes is also disrespectful. not only that, i was also being attacked by outside parties who had NO BUSINESS talking in the first damn place. not only that, but just generally talking shit to other people and around the way like i wasn't gonna know, but that's neither here nor there.

in my opinion, that's how it was and i simply cannot associate myself with anyone or anything when im feelin disrespected, period. which is ALSO why i reacted the way i did with dude with the high yellow shirt. we were just playing around with dude...he disrespected us, and i wasn't gonna stand quiet, that's all.

now, im also not telling yall to never get on hoodstars again. despite what yall are thinking, that was not my intent. now i STILL have the same mindframe...i felt like you all were disrespected and none of you should stand for that, and none of my feelings have changed because i feel like women in general sometimes ALLOW so many things over others. like my 'no dick in `08' jumpoff, for example. how im always saying how women let certain qualities about a man influence whether or not she's with him and ignore the HUGE signs that say 'stay AWAY from this nigga!' yall heard me say over and over that my whole movement was not just about sex...but in just the way we respect ourselves in general, and just because i stopped hollering 'no dick in `08' didn't mean i wasn't still standing by it...i just felt like my point was made and i didn't have to scream it out anymore, but to simply follow it.

at the same time, however, i didn't want to sound like i was trying to change ya'll religions or something lol. i was just trying to encourage everybody to think about that shit and demand MORE of yourself and how other people treat you, because when you dont respect yourselves you usually end up getting fucked in the long run. its happened to me a bunch of times, so i know. all i said to you all was 'the owner of hoodstars just called all of you out of your name...if yall still want to sit on this site and support this nigga it's on yall, but it's not gonna be me.' now i admit that when people were telling me that some of you were still in there i was sayin sumthin like 'omg and some of yall are still there,' but it was because i was disappointed...not because i was trying to get you all to leave.

so with that said, i was never trying to influence you guys, but i was trying to get you to think about something you never thought about before...this whole time. you all have your own minds. you all do not have to stop coming here because i said so or asia said so. (and we never said that, but you all get it lol.) ya'll dont even have to speak with me if yall dont want to. i love yall, but yall are yall own people, and im not gonna hate anyone for doing whatever the fuck they wanna do so...ya'll do yall thing lol.

as for me, that's where i stand so...lol i gotta be done. im not GONE, however, so you all can add me on xanga if you would like:

http://www.xanga.com/LilEssence03

i have friend's lock and sign in lock enabled because, as i've said, i cant stand the crazy and the disrespectful, so on my personal page i gotta filter them out lol. i add everybody, but if you turn out crazy, you get deleted off the friend's list lol.

alrighty so that's all i wanted to say...to those of you all that are still confused about shit and watnot. you can say whatever you want to say about me because of this, but i really could care less my shoulders have been brushed off many many times since i first got on hoodstars, it aint nuthin to keep on brushin em off like Obama lol. this is how i feel, period. nobody can steal my joy or change me. not anymore, not at all. so anyone who disagrees can talk shit about me in these comments, or you can hide and do it in the chatrooms or amongst yourselves thinking i'll never know about it, or you can get on cam and talk shit about me and block me thinking i'll never know you said shit about me...either way it dont matter, cuz whether i hear it, hear about it or not at all i am officially unfazed.

ultimately, i hope that everybody respects what im sayin, regardless of whether you like it or agree with it or wateva. im not for the drama, i just wanted to put my thoughts out there, because people were wondering.

im going to give this blog a lil time to 'marinate' lol and then i'm getting rid of the page...just to give yall time to find it and apply it and add me on xanga if yall want to. and to give myself time to transfer my blogs...cuz i like my blogs lol. no later than new years...i guess.

AND...last but not least, through it ALL there is one thing that will always make sense to me. always unchanging, always awesome:

omari on is the shit.

:o)

WATCH OUT! here's the link:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/dirty_tricks

damn shame. this is why we have to get out there and VOTE people we HAVE to!!!

And R.I.P. to Senator Obama's grandmother, Ms. Madelyn Dunham. She passed away today. She had cancer and was trying to hold on long enough to see her grandson get elected...now we have to make sure we do what we can to see that happens, because she's still smiling down on him!